How do I find my work/life balance?

Mind, body, connections of creative confidence and flow

I became a mother in 2016 and I was able to better grasp the gravity of having proper work/life balance. If you do not have a balance you will constantly feel depleted, overwhelmed, angry, and resentful. These emotions can only build for so long before there is a release this will look like an implosion or explosion and neither is positive. When you do not have your life and work balance you can feel like you are burning the candle on both ends and not fully able to put your best foot forward. Here are some ways to obtain more balance in your life:
1. Self-care. Self-care is one of the major ways to increase your work/life balance. It is easy to get caught up in the daily hustle and bustle and forget about yourself. You will be able to better tend to the needs of others after you have properly cared for yourself. Find time to recharge yourself and do something that you enjoy. You can make time every day to care for yourself. This can be as simple as taking time out of your day to be thankful, or slow down your pace so you do not feel like you are barely floating above water.
2.Time.Along the lines of self-care is having balance in the way you delineate your time. This is key to creating balance especially if children and/or a partner is involved. There needs to be time set aside for yourself, family time, and time exclusively with your partner. Problems will start to arise if you find yourself putting work over your family or your children over your spouse because you are operating in an unbalanced manner. Monitor your inputs. Sometimes we find ourselves so glued to the screen that we end up misusing our free time. Make it a rule to unplug and have more time without the bombarding of social media, television, and outside distractions. If you make a rule that you will not engage in work related tasks after 7pm make that a point to keep that boundary. Many times we feel that there is “not enough time in the day”. However, if you were to take into account the time you are idling using you would be surprised to see how much more effectively you could be utilizing your time. Make a 24 hour log of what you do in a day and see what is a priority and what is not. In doing this you will better be able to see what can be eliminated and how time can be used more to your advantage.
3.Leave work at work. Being able to compartmentalize your work stress will help eliminate carrying that home with you. If you have had a stressful day make it a point to discuss that with your significant other or roommate first ting when you get home. Take the car ride home as time to destress and process. Before you leave work tie up any loose ends, tidy up your work space, and make a to-do list for the next day. If you leave scattered and unorganized it can leave you stress about what all is left to do. Take preventative action and make a routine in wrapping up your work day so you can leave feeling more accomplished and having closure.
4.Be able to say “No” more often. If you find yourself being overextended take a step back and found out if you have overinvolved yourself. Are you consistently say yes when you feel it is best to say no? If you find people pleasing behaviors or the ability to say no a personal challenge it is okay to get assertiveness training to assist you in finding your voice.
If you have found yourself in the proverbial “zombie mode” where you are in autopilot and you find yourself waking up to go to sleep just to do it all over again it is time to check in to see what you can be doing differently and more effectively. You no longer have to feel stretched thin. Make a game plan to curb these feelings by implementing the above to create more balance. The definition of work life balance is as follows “the proper prioritization between work and your life”. This definition has powerful implications. Keeping every aspect of your life in proper order is of paramount importance.

About Whitney Doyeto LMFT

I am Whitney Doyeto, M.A., LMFT, the licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Serenity Marriage and Family Counseling, LLC. I earned both a Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy and a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from Oral Roberts University. ​I feel called to give hope and renewal to individuals, couples, and families. I strive to create more support, structure, and stability, into the lives of those I serve. I have been married for six years and recently welcomed my first child, a baby girl, in April of 2016. I am passionate about exercise, traveling, and volunteering at Church.